By Ruth Truther


Need a cure for Covid 19? Or perhaps just a preventative to save you from the effort of wearing a mask? Look no further. We obtained this sure-fire smoothie recipe, part of a two-page flyer containing some astonishing claims, from a chap claiming to be part of a group known as Hastings Freedom Fighters. He was handing it to everyone at a recent Extinction Rebellion demonstration. It should be noted that it has not been possible to establish whether he belongs to Hastings Freedom Fighters or any other organisation.



The smoothie, we are assured, is a very effective treatment for Covid-19, a disease which has wiped out millions and is still baffling  medical and scientific minds around the world. It is made from "the juice of a handful of blended or mushed grass with the fibres removed, two types of lettuce and mushrooms, black pepper and orange juice" and is described as a "broad spectrum antibiotic cocktail which is much better than Quenin-based drugs."
At press time however, no-one was able to tell us what a "Quenin-based drug" was, nor for that matter, a "broad spectrum antibiotic cocktail."

But let us not allow mere facts to obscure the truth. We would be foolish would we not, were we to fail to consider the views of free thinking conspiracy theorists, the mentally unstable and all the self-described journalist/researchers who seek only to stand up and be noticed in this ever-maddening crowd.

I have no doubt that Bill Gates, George Soros, Enid Blyton and the rest of the lizard-based illuminati would wish us to regard this delicious life-saving recipe as a crock of unsubstantiated bollocks spread by a person whose critical faculties, if they ever existed, have long since run off with the fairies. However in my opinion......(cont'd on planet 436 in the constellation Looloo, overseen by Queen Nefertiti, Eternal Goddess of Spiritual Revelation).